but i'm not here to bore you to death with controversy. i'm here to make you giggle and smirk.
so that's just what i'm going to do [hopefully].
so i wrote the word perfection, because that's what i'll be writing about today. perfecting the way to eat an olive garden breadstick, to be precise.
you see, i've always gone about eating those damn breadsticks the wrong way. everytime i eat at olive garden, i snatch one of those buttery, garlicy, freshly-steaming, amazing smelling breadsticks and scarf it down. i've changed my approach many times, but it still ends up me with leaving that terrible, hour after, you can still taste the garlic salt on your tongue, inbetween your teeth and on the roof of your mouth- feeling. at about 3am when i wake up and i'm so parched i actually have to get out of bed, go to the kitchen and poor myself a glass of water.
you would think that i'd either a) just drink from the sink faucet, or b) get a damn glass of ice water and have it sit on my nightstand. but of course i don't do either of those things.
so last night, when i went to olive garden on a mommy-daughter date (i never refer to my mom as 'mommy' so i really don't know why i wrote that), i was strategizing my approach to eating those garlic breadstick suckers while waiting for the waitress to approach our table and take our order. [how would i shove it in my mouth this time?] for my order, i actually switched it up and got the salad thinking it'd be a more healthy option than fatty chicken gnocchi soup (ok the chiken is DISGUSTING in that soup). and ravioli di portabella for me please. so the salad comes and so do those amazing breadsticks.
i have tried everything and anything when it comes to avoiding the garlic-mouth wake up call at 3am.
-i used to take them, and lick the garlic topping off. of course that would make my breath wreak.
-i would bite off only the top and basically that would be a more garlic salt ratio to bread. thats bad news. am i really trying to avoid the garlic smell or am i just over-enjoying the garlic flavor? probably the latter.
-i would eat only the bottom, stupidly thinking that the garlic flavor would somehow be in the bottom of the sticks. this is a dumb option and you might as well just eat plain bread.
-i would scarf them down so quickly that my mouth wouldn't have time to taste the garlic. this didn't work
-split the garlic stick in half and put the garlicy side in the middle, and have the middle of the bread on the outside. do you undersatnd that? if you don't thats okay because this approach doesn't work either.
-and finally last night, i stuck the breadstick in my mouth side ways, so that the garlicy side would only hit my cheek, and then chewed in a way so i could mix it all together and it really wouldn't touch my toungue.
i was doing good all night. i ate my meal, more salad, and then had amaretto tirmasu on top of that. went home feeling satisfied that i broke the nasty habit of that terrible garlic breadstick breath.
well, i got my 3am wakeup call. i had to get out of bed, and go chug water.
then this morning i had to floss, brush my teeth AND my tongue and then mouthwash on top of all that.
i've made a conclusion to this whole story.
-i need to stop eating the breadsticks at olive garden,
and i eat there way to often.
if my post didn't make you giggle for it's complete lack of sense, and it's full completeness of stupidity and nonsense, than watch the video above :)