Gymetiquette.

so unless you want to read my rules for going to the gym, this might not be the post for you to invest your 5 minutes of reading time in, hehe.

{Disclaimer: i have been in violation of some of these items, but i'm working very hard NOT to do them!}
{Second Disclaimer: this is long. but i like to think its funny so stick around!}

I've had a constant battle with my footsies going to the gym.  no sneaker can satisfy my arch in my right foot.  sadly, and embarassingly, i've come to the conclusion that i need to wear old lady gym sneakers. seriously ? i'm 27, what gives?

these would be my saucony's. they are great. i did have to cut out some extra foam on the tongue though. way too poofy for me! and they don't look too bad.... if only you saw the inner part.  the bottom in the middle is like 3 inchese high LOL.

i got a coupon from one of those newspaper magazines, nothing great, just $1.00 off a Rubbermaid Hydration water bottle. so of course i justified to my husband that i need this water bottle so i can remain hydrated while working out so i don't pass out.  my convincing skills worked (this time*).  so i hopped in the car with husband in tow, and went to target (it's seriously bad its less than 5 from my house). and found a water bottle! now it didn't match the one on the picture, but the caption did, so i price checked it and it was only $5.69! hello i'm so getting it for only $4.00!. it's not anything serious, but it has a wide opening on the top when you screw off the lid, so i can throw in my icecubes! total pet peeve when water bottles don't fit your icecubes.






oh speaking of pet peeves...i ALSO got a coupon for $3 off a purchase of $14.99 or more at target for their Champion C9 brand. I'm like PERFECT! I neeeed running pants.  you know those ones that make you look cool, they are leggings but not all the way to your ankles and not stopping at the knee (i'm sorry those are hideous on anyone) but they stop just a wee bit above your calf muscles, so basically under your knee, but not too close to the knee. oh what the hell you can see the picture right there!  so... i'm like super, what could the cost me, 20 - 25 the max? um NO. seriously, $34.99 WTH is that?!!? i'm not spending $35.00 on champion brand pants that are probably going to fade within 3-5 washes.  i'll pass thank you!







anyway, let's move onto the rules for attending the gym.

Define: Gymetiquette

behavior that not only violates contextual standards of decorum, but does so in a manner that is absurd and frequently hilarious (at least to observers); derived from the phrase GYM ETIQUETTE, ethical or socially appropriate conduct, procedure, or decorum in the gym or exercise setting

1. if you are on any kind of machine, please refrain from constant texting. this is a distraction and you can seriously hurt yourself if you aren't paying attention to what you do! and not to mention, its annoying looking at you with your head bent down, and your thumbs moving as fast as your legs are.

2. speaking of the cell phones, please refrain from TALKING on your cell phone while working out. leave the gym floor if you need to have a conversation that is going to last more than 30 seconds. a quick "hello, i'm at the gym, k see you soon bye" is acceptable... but hearing what you are making for dinner, what your plans are for the weekend, or how your husband pisses you off is just irritating.

3. wear deodorant. please, nobody likes the stinker that smells up an area that can occupy up to/if not more than 6 machines.

4. girls: THE BIGGEST PET PEEVE I'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED OF MINE AT THE GYM: PUT YOUR G-DAMN HAIR IN A PONY TAIL.  IF YOU ARE WEARING YOUR HAIR DOWN AND PERFECTLY STRAIGHT WHILE GRACIOUSLY JOGGING ON THE TREADMILL YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT AND I DO NOT TAKE YOU AS A SERIOUS WORK-OUTER.

"uh huh hehe like totally, i am so burning 1000 calories right now!"

5. stop running like an elephant....or take your trunks and move to the end of the row. if i can hear you through my (loud) music ear buds, it's time to reevaluate your exercising mannerisms.

6. no jeans. you look stupid.

7. don't pull a kim kardashian and wear see-through black leggings.  no one wants to see your ass each time you move on the elliptical.

8. excessive sweating can be managed by draping a towel over the machine you are working out on.  it takes 1 second to pull it up and wipe your face.  if i feel a single droplet of perspiration from your head on my arms, i may have to trip you.

9. this rule is specific for those of you who are waiting for a class to let out, so you can begin yours.  crowding in the area (while annoying) i totally get, because a lot of times, open spots for those classes fill up quick and once they hit maximum capacity chances are you won't get to go to that class till two days later, or on saturday morning at 8 am when no body wants to go to the gym.  but keep your rowdiness to a low level.  screaming and banging on the door "what the hell! this class was supposed to start at 6:30 ughhhh [insert explicit comments] " is extremely rude, very immature, and again, distracting for those of us who are working out.  i dealt with this yesterday, and it happened to be a man, probably my age doing this. like really? go home.

10. there are signs on the gym mirrors that read "DO NOT DROP DUMBBELLS" for a reason. the most obvious of the reasons, you can hurt yourself. other obvious reasons include you can ruin the floor, or the weights themself (i know highly unlikely) and a MAJOR REASON: BECAUSE ITS STARTLING FOR 27 YEAR OLD LADIES WHO ARE TRYING TO RUN ON LEVEL 6.5 SPEED! (who me? noooo, and please note i just referred to myself as in the ladies category haha)... i can't tell you how many times some meatball has dropped weights on the floor, grunting in success, and it has startled the shit out of me. almost to the point where i practically trip over my own feet.  all i can say is the day that happens, i will probably never return to the gym again.

lol i had to.  who doesn't love the terminator in work out gear?

so there you have it, MY RULES for attending the gym.


* Remember the words "(this time*)" bolded up above?  well... usually i can twist my husband's arm to get some things i want.  can i tell you all, i had a dream, about finding a michael kors bag in marshalls the other night......well we happened to be in marshalls the next day and i was telling mike my thrilling dream about finding this amazing bag, as i turned, a michael kors purse literally FELL into my hands. it was fate. i begged and pleaded to him to let me get the bag.  would you believe he flat out said no. took the bag, and put it back! i walked out of the store sulking like a 4 year old. i held a grudge all night.  what the hell is wrong with me?! :D